Botbyl Style Aisle: August 2013

So, I can't believe how incredibly long it's been since I've created a blog post. Life is exceedingly busy right now - I'm certain you can all relate, which is how I came about creating this particular post (in small pieces, whenever I have a minute to add a few words or phrases) Sidenote : This post may be perceived as extremely random; I've written whatever has streamed from my brain, potentially without rhyme or reason, and am now entitling it and referring to it as a collection of thoughts that have been swirling around my noggin for some time.
So, here we go.

Thoughts on happiness!
"Happiness is not a destination. It's a way of life" or so says my living room wall as well as several canvas prints I've come across.

Living happily...truly happily, without struggles of guilt, regret, worry, envy, fear? Definitely easier said than done! I've been thinking a lot about life, design, habits, prioritizing, balance, inspiration, time management, exercise, decluttering, working, self-improvement...moving forward, (in no particular order, and while pausing to change a couple poopy diapers...eeewww, that was a stinky!!) and there are a billion ideas, questions, thoughts, images swirling around in my head, I can barely wrap my brain around all of them. So many things we wanna do, so many people we wanna be, so many roles we play on a daily basis - All this new technology, evolving and changing almost overnight in such a fast-paced world where being connected, instantaneous choice-making, and constant progress is expected...

It's so difficult to keep track of everything, not to mention succeed in accomplishing even half of what we set out to accomplish, isn't it? So in place of her best honest attempt to accomplish something, she blogs. So, I wouldn't say I've been overwhelmed...More like I'm continually raising the bar, and finding that exceeding or even meeting my own expectations has become more and more difficult, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I just want everything to be perfect...all the time, and I'm finding it harder to function or feel relaxed when things aren't perfect, instead of just recognizing, accepting, and experiencing the beauty, rawness, and artistic nature of imperfection. I need to take a step back and a deep breath and give myself permission to find the whimsy and excitement of not knowing what's gonna happen next...and trust God. I don't wanna wake up one day with a startling realization that life just...happened to me. I want to really experience life...Not just plan on experiencing it, and plan how and when I'm going to experience it. Does that make sense?

Thoughts on motherhood, eminem, and my love for maternity pants!
Being a new mom, although a wonderful blessing, comes with obvious (some times irrational) stressers and insecurities, and requires altering one's life and embracing flexibility. Also, growing older...I'm finding, is becoming a little harder...My metabolism is slowing down big time. So...I've been running for 8 weeks...as many days as I possibly can, at 5:00 am, before baby, throwing some maternity stretch pants on with a t-shirt and running. Why the maternity pants? For those of you that have worn them, you can imagine how that comfortable elastic band can hold a I-phone while you're running right? For those of you who haven't, you should try them! or maybe wait until you need them...Anyhow, That's my excuse, my I-phone. I tuck my phone in my pants, start up my "freedom running" playlist consisting of Emenem's "I'm not afraid", "Lose yourself", and Marky Marky and the Funky Bunch, and continually convince myself that overeating brings me to a very unhappy dark place that I will never go back to again. I'm really hungry...right now. Jon Botbyl says night-time hunger is a good thing and that Amy needs to embrace it. But that is before he takes her to Fridays and tells her she can have any chicken or seafood entre on the menu because he has a coupon. Who got him into couponing anyway. oh yeah. It was me.
sheordersthecreamiestmostfatteningdinnerintheworldwhichiscompletelyamazing!

Thoughts on renovations!
It's that time of the year again - School is fast approaching! Needless to say, Jon and I were planning to go easy on the projects. However, our next large renovation will be the basement which I've been designing and picturing in my head for almost a year now. I can hardly wait to enthusiastically share via blog all my exciting and creative decorating, organizing, and diy ideas and plans for this potentially exquisite and totally multi-functional and well thought-out space! Ahhhhhhhhh!! (deep calming breath to prevent major hyper-ventilation...like I do before every single trip to homegoods) I could definitely create an entire post on this subject! For the time being, a few cosmetic improvements around the house (and in my classroom) will be in order.

Thoughts on embracing minimalism!
I'm giving my best attempt to embrace minimalism. I had no idea I owned so many purses!! Big ones, little ones, all different colors and textures, some ripped on the inside and headed straight into the trashcan, some revamped for a garage sale, and some I allowed myself to put away for later or tag as "Clara's play purses", which will go into a very organized something-or-other (insert "amazing storage tote" here) in her playroom when the basement has been designed. However, in my attempt to "embrace minimalism", I've found that I often focus too much on the decluttering and tidying process that I lose myself, and slightly hinder myself when it comes to starting new projects or jumping into something new and exciting because I'm constantly trying to edit and keep myself from adding too much to my plate. This is quite tricky. How much is too much? How little is not enough?

Howabout finding that happy place?

This one is difficult. There are many happy places to be found...when my feet hit the pavement early in the morning and I think to myself "I can do this", and I feel free and spirited...and young...when I'm outside surrounded by beauteous nature...and feel like I'm almost a part of it...when I'm watching Clara ~~try to pet the cat~~ inquisitively explore the beauty unfolding around her without a care in the world...

when I'm teaching and experience one of those raw, unscripted teachable moments that motivates me to reach as far as I possibly can to be creative, inspiring, and real...As for real true happiness, I'm not sure I've figured out how to really define that...What is happiness?? Is it living in a big beautiful home? Is it having a wonderful job? Does happiness happen when you feel important, when you know that what you do from day to day makes a gigantic and significant difference in the lives of others? Is it simply...freedom and time to do what you love without feeling the need to constantly make money in order to feel worthwhile and support your family and lifestyle? Is it simpler than that? A large plate of delicious french toast? Or eating pizza in the bathtub? What do you think? I think I think too much...